Beginnings...

Our Relief Society has given us a challenge to journal at least once a week.  I am better at posting than I am at journaling, so I have chosen to use my blog as a once a week journal or faith promoting experience if I have nothing special to journal about.  Hopefully this way my children will have experiences written down by their mother that will help them and their children know that I have a testimony of my Lord, and Savior, Jesus Christ.
This morning I was reading in the scriptures about small and simple things, and how great things are brought to pass, and yesterday we had a lesson on keeping the Sabbath Day Holy.  This reminded me of an experience I had many years ago, when Selina was about 12 years old.  Her and I were headed to Choir practice one afternoon following church.  As we left I realized we had hardly any gas in the big orange van.  I told her we would need to stop and get gas.  She reminded me it was sunday and that the Lord would provide us enough gas to get to and from choir practice.  I decided we would do our best not to get gas.  We made it to choir practice fine, (it was at the Warm Springs Stake Center), but on the way back about 1/2 way home the van died.  I proceeded to switch tanks and the van started up and we went about 50 feet when it again died.  Again I switched tanks and the same thing happened.  We continued in this manner for several miles until we made it home - mostly uphill).  Now I don't know about you, but any other time I have run out of gas (and I have had my share of those experiences) the car might start once, but never more than that.   Later as we were talking about faith in gospel doctrine I related this experience and what I observed is that the scriptures talk about us having the faith of a little child - and here was Selina who had complete faith in the things she had been taught and then there was me who because of the trials of life and seeing that things don't always come out the way we pray for or expect - my complete faith had some doubting in it.  Did I still believe in my Savior Jesus Christ?  Of course and those trials had strengthened that, but they had also weakened my faith that God would always provide when I felt I needed it. (notice the "I" parts)  I think having faith, nothing doubting is the hardest part, and yet the Lord expects it of us.  I do believe that we must do our part for it to be in effect.  For instance I had doubts because I should have prepared for the Sabbath by filling my gas tank on Saturday. The thing I have learned most is that the Lord knows the intents of our hearts and even when we don't always do all that we could, he knows us and loves us and blesses when we do enough!!